indimenticabile

so, it's over!!!! he came back (much) earlier than expected and i'm still shocked and as excited as i was when i found out because i can't imagine a better surprise than that :,) like ahhhh really!!! hehe okay sorry had to get that out before i explode from happiness and so much joy and i just really want to write down everything i'm feeling now while i'm still feeling it hahaha the excitement and happiness he's back!! okay honestly i have never cried tears of joy before, but now i can't exactly say that anymore :p these past weeks all i ever thought of every passing second/minute/hour (even by the microsecond) was him, and without him was just simply unthinkable and mostly unbearable, here's why: every time my phone vibrates and a message comes in (even if it isn't a message but my phone just letting me know that it's being charged), i jump up and charge right at it even though i know it might not be him (being 3am there). talking about time, *sigh* being in different time zones (though only a difference of 2 hours) is. hard. it's just really tough because no matter how much i try to adjust to your time zone to feel a little closer to you by sleeping/waking up at the same time, i can't. because there's things i have to do when it's time for you to go to bed, like eat my dinner :( this was the hardest part.. but i try, and i'm really thankful that i managed to catch you every single time you text/message in the morning when it's your start of the day, and 4am back here. how i'm always always so afraid that i will miss your messages because i can't hear the (really soft) notification from facebook messenger, or of the feeling where i can't talk to you even though i can see your messages (#throwback to the time where my ipad decided to play a really nasty prank on me and hide the keyboard so i couldn't talk to you or respond to you at all, and all i could do was helplessly watch you call out for me while i fumble to quickly restart it hoping and praying that you wouldn't leave the chat so soon because i have yet to talk to you - that was the most horrible feeling yet) and i'm suddenly really glad that i have this telepathy (not to sound so braggy or like one of those couples) feeling thingamajig where i know when you will text me, i can't really explain it but it's just a weird sense that i just ... know? i would be in mid-dream and suddenly i wake up and tadah! or i would be talking to someone randomly and then out of nowhere, i would run over to my ipad/phone and bam! 2 or 3 seconds later, you appear and i'm smiling like the geekiest gunduhead (me -> :-)) and oh. my. gawd how much i look forward to going to bed every night knowing when i wake up, we're one day closer to seeing each other. so here's to day one where my fingers and shirt has traces of you (from the hardest goodbye ever just hours ago), and i refused to wash them or change out and *ahem* bathe until a really long time later, like a day? Psh i'm not that horrible ok! here's to nights of worrying about you being afraid of the cold, to the heart wrenching moment where we both turned after saying goodbye at the airport, to watching you walk in the departure gates trying to look for me in the crowds (but i was by the side, watching you for just a second before i ran to the toilet because i couldn't take it and omg just thinking about that day, that moment.. that feeling, is making me tear up), to not having the words to describe how much we miss/love each other because these words can't even express how we feel anymore, to the first skype call, to phone calls that made me cry the moment i heard your voice, to looking forward to your updates, and to days (weeks) of missing you, because right now, how i wish i could record myself smiling like a damn idiot and feeling SO happy because you're home, you're in the same time zone, and most importantly, i got to hold you and look at you again after so long!! how i wish i recorded myself when i knew you were coming back earlier than expected, my first tear of joy and my happiness that couldn't be contained at all, because this feeling (having only experienced it once), i wish i could relive over and over and over again because it was truly easily the top moments of my life so far

Welcome home, b!!!! ♡